Join Mailing List

You Can’t Love Yourself If You Don’t Know Yourself : A Message to Black Women

Author: Ayesha Giselle Dornelly

As a coach/therapist, I understand the importance of self-discovery as a foundation for self-love. For black women, who are often subjected to societal pressures that tell them how to act, think, and feel, it can be even more challenging to develop a deep understanding of oneself.

Self-love and self-discovery go hand in hand. To love oneself, you must know oneself on a deep level. This involves understanding your values, beliefs, aspirations, and desires. Unfortunately, many black women face various factors that prevent them from truly knowing themselves.

One of the biggest barriers to self-discovery is societal expectations. Black women are often expected to conform to certain ideals of beauty, intelligence, and behaviour that do not align with their true selves. This pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and self-doubt.

Additionally, self-limiting belief systems can hinder black women’s journey to self-discovery and self-love. These beliefs may include thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve happiness.” These negative thoughts can become ingrained over time, making it difficult to break free from them.

So, what can black women do to reconnect with their true selves and develop a deep and lasting love for themselves? Here are some strategies and tips:

  1. Connect with your roots: Take time to learn about your cultural heritage and connect with your roots. This can help you gain a deeper understanding of who you are and where you come from.
  2. Practice self-care: Self-care is crucial for developing self-love. Take time each day to do something kind for yourself, whether that’s taking a bubble bath, meditating, or going for a walk.
  3. Seek out positive affirmations: Affirmations are powerful tools for reprogramming self-limiting beliefs. Write down positive affirmations that resonate with you and repeat them to yourself each day.
  4. Embrace vulnerability: Being vulnerable can be scary, but it’s essential for self-discovery and self-love. Allow yourself to be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings, both with yourself and others.
  5. Seek out support: Don’t be afraid to seek out support from friends, family members, or a therapist. Having someone to talk to can make a big difference in your journey towards self-discovery and self-love.

Remember, the journey towards self-discovery and self-love is ongoing. It requires patience, persistence, and a willingness to be vulnerable. By taking these steps and embracing your true self, you can develop a deep and lasting love for yourself that will carry you through life’s ups and downs.

Ayesha Giselle Dornelly, is a renowned life coach and clinical solution-focused hypnotherapist/psychotherapist, Anxiety UK Therapist with an exceptional track record in personal development. With over a decade of experience in her field, Ayesha has established herself as an expert in personal development and mental health. With her expertise in mentality-shifting techniques, she empowers individuals to unleash their potential, overcome obstacles, and achieve their goals. A trusted member of respected organizations, Ayesha’s authority in her field is further validated by features in prominent publications. Website:

Pin It on Pinterest

Skip to content