Donate

Join Mailing List

A Tribute our beloved, respected, wise Arike (aka Stan Grant) who recently passed

 

Photographer: Aida Silvestri.

Arike died on the 12th June 2020 after a tragic accident. Our condolences go out to his daughter and son Tara and Saul, his granddaughter Lili, his siblings Linda and Shade and his partner Leah.

Please scroll down to add you personal tributes and commemorative messages of Arike below.

From Dr Isha Mckenzie-Mavinga

A friend described how Arike counselled her first child when he was inside her belly, 28 years ago. He was recently counselling the same child as a young adult. Arike was a psychological and spiritual father, brother and uncle in many ways. We were initiated into Reiki together and shared ancestral ceremonies with Malidome Some` and other diviners.

I first met Arike at the Association of black counsellors.  I had taken my youngest child who was then age eight months and Arike offered to feed him. This was indicative of his gentle connecting, openly supportive manner. In the early 90s, I had the privilege of teaching with Arike at City University, working with him at the African Caribbean Mental Health Association and then passing the baton to him at Broadmoor hospital. We have since experienced 30 years colleagueship, friendship and leading in the Re-evaluation co-counselling community.

That tragic accident that took his life on the 12th of June was a twist of fate as he was emerging as an active leader in local black lives matter events. I have been told that he spoke about not being afraid to die, but he was afraid of pain. It is a blessing that he did not suffer too long. Arike was a gentle wise caring therapist, colleague and friend. He was a talented musician and artist. Spiritually refined with integrity, calm and wisdom. May the heart that helped heal other hearts rest in peace. It is fitting that he has become one of our iconic ancestors.

 

From Eugene Ellis

I met Arike when I was beginning to explore co-counselling and he was one of the black men who became very important for me at that time. There are many types of black men, and I was working through the type a black man I was, and trying to reconcile the parts of me that I didn’t think fit the profile of the black man I thought I should be. Arike offered me a model of someone I could find myself through. You were someone with similar values to me and a similar outlook on how life could be lived. He became a kind of role model for me. A model of the type of a black man that I already was in many ways, but hadn’t fully accepted and validated.

Arike was someone who inspired me and kept me connected with who I want to be. I felt proud and privileged to be doing the Trainers forums with him and so appreciated his ability to thoughtfully get to a clear thinking space within the midst of emotional storms. I want to thank Arike for his invaluable contribution to BAATN and for looking out for me when I took on too much my shoulder.

You are still alive in my mind and I wish you a peaceful journey to be with the ancestors.

Much love to a dear Friend

Aileen Alleyne, Arike, Isha Mckenzie-Mavinga

Listen and watch recordings of Arike

  • Colonialism, Violence, Father and Me: A Young Black Man’s Initiation Into Manhood In Mid 20th Century. A Spoken word performance. A story of violence within the home to toughen up a young boy for a tough world. Watch here
  • Arike speaks to Rotimi Akinsete about his reflections on all that’s been happening around black deaths under Covid and George Floyd’s murder. Part of the Black Men on the Couch series, recording 11th June 20. [add link]
  • BAATN podcast: Creating partnerships with training organisations: Let’s talk about race – Episode 18 – Listen here

Post your own commemorative note below.

Click on “Write a new entry’ button below.

Post your own note

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
- Fields marked with * are required.
- Your E-mail address won't be published and only used to send a confirmation email.
- Your comment will be visible after we have reviewed it.
- We reserve the right to edit, delete, or not publish entries.
38 entries.
Tony Singh from LONDON wrote on January 13, 2023
I am so sad I can not express it in words .I had lost touch with Stan as I Knew him for roughly 32 years now. I had thought about contacting him for years and today on the 13th January 2023 I decided I would contact him.
I wanted to speak to him about various things including how many mutual friends we unknowingly had. I wanted mostly to thank him for the kindness love and support he showed me when many had closed their doors to me. I am devastated that we will not have that conversation in this life. I share so many of the sentiments others have written.

One sensed very quickly that Stan/Arike was a Superstar and one of those unique souls that we rarely meet and are 1 in a million maybe. I feel privileged to have known him. He was talented beyond belief and trained me as a co-counsellor and group worker. The world has lost a great man who had an abundance of love to share. I am sorry I was too late to speak to you but I hope you are at peace my friend. Until we meet again I like many miss you and celebrate your life.
Joy Mandel from Sandgate, Folkestone wrote on April 4, 2022
https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/bench-for-arike?utm_term=Z2bZdG27P
MARIE-FRANCE LYELL from NR. CANTERBURY wrote on February 14, 2022
May you rest in heavenly peace. Strength to your lovely family also. I am stunned to read that you have passed away. I met you at a professional meeting in Hythe and was captivated by your gentleness and quiet demeanor. Hugs were indeed a big thing for you. And my , you gave warm hugs too. The temporal world has lost a dear soul. We will all meet again in the next life. Blessings Marie-France
Julie Andrews from London wrote on November 26, 2021
I met you a few times and loved engaging with you in the Trainer Forums. I am shocked and upset to hear this news. Much love to all his family , friends and work colleagues. What an immense loss 🖤
Neil Purcell from Bristol wrote on November 23, 2021
Dearest Arike, Stan, as I knew you back in the 70's, when we shared a house in Leicester. We were both involved in the pursuit of spiritual knowledge and I looked up to you, you were like an older brother, always looking out for me and always showing your love and care for me and those around us.I loved you then as I love you now.
You were the best man at my wedding in 1976 and I was so proud that you were there and that you were my friend. A truer friend one could never find and despite all the years that have passed since those days, I feel such a great loss to learn of your passing today. We spoke last year over the phone and promised to meet up again after so long, but it wasn't to be. Oh, how I miss you now. I so much wanted to tell you how much you mean to me, how much you gave of yourself to me and others. I wanted to say Thankyou, Arike! You beautiful man!
The testimonies I read here speak of the love you gave and the hearts you touched. You touched us all with your specialness and I feel blessed to have known you as a friend. Go well, my friend, Go well!
Charles from London wrote on April 23, 2021
This was a special man.

I think I will change that to "is" a special man. As he lives through me and everyone he touched. Our ideas and memories will outlive us all.

We worked together for just 7 months. And that was enough time for him and our engagement to have a profound impact. I only knew him on a professional level but this is a great loss. I extend my comfort to all of those that loved this man and are also mourning his loss. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Arike for everything. I hope I can do his work proud as I take my learnings from our sessions to help guide me.
Jenni from London wrote on December 3, 2020
Arike - so light, warm and containing! He inspired my practice as I returned to counselling and helped me grow into a style of my own. I am filled with the memories of a good soul, who supported my journey - Thank you and rest in peace x
Eugene Ellis wrote on December 3, 2020
Test poat
Rebecca Sharples from London wrote on October 22, 2020
So sorry to hear this sad news. My condolences to all of the family and loved ones.

I am so thankful for meeting Arike. As an Art Psychotherapy student on Placement, I was lucky enough to experience Arike's training 'Having a conversation on Race'. This was such a powerful workshop. Being one of the very few Art Therapy trainees of colour I was so inspired to finally experience speaking up. I will always be grateful for this experience which gave me a voice and the encouragement to make this my area of research for my final dissertation. I am forever grateful for planting that seed that led me on my journey.

Rest in Peace x
Alison Barty from London wrote on October 14, 2020
I'm just reading the article by Isha McKenzie-Mavinga in Therapy Today this month and read that Arike had died in an accident 4 months ago. It is a measure of his impact that even though it is several years since our paths crossed I felt overwhelmed by shock and sadness. How could that be - he was so full of energy and life. I first met Arike in the late 80s through the (then) BAC RACE Committee and then BAC division where he was a strong presence, ever true to himself. When we met on later occasions he was always ready with a big hug and welcome. My thoughts with his family and close friends from another whose life was touched by him
Rebecca Lunn from London wrote on October 1, 2020
Moving into October after this strangest of summers, I’m finally making space to form some words around this huge loss and, right on cue, the sun comes out from behind the clouds.

And that’s Arike – bringing light and warmth, just as he did every time he guided my journey through a BAATN trainer or therapist forum. Along with Eugene, he held the space with such love, integrity and skill that each time it became safer to go deeper into feeling the layers of intergenerational guilt, shame, privilege, violence and trauma that so need to be felt.

I lost both my parents in the weeks after Arike’s passing, hence the struggle to find these words sooner. Now that I do so, I find a kind of poetry in the intertwining of these losses, helping me appreciate just how beautifully Arike’s way of being embodies both the paternal and the maternal.

The last time I saw him in March, he cut through the rising fear and confusion of that time to give me the most beautiful, defiantly unsocially-distanced hug, as ever embodying warmth and positivity. Peace and power to you always, dear Arike – I aspire to do justice to your memory.
Raili Taylor from Paignton wrote on September 30, 2020
So saddened today, learning that Arike has died. He was a good man and Folkestone - no, the world - is now a poorer place.
Shawn Scott from London wrote on August 23, 2020
I recently learned of the sad passing of Arike. We had met at a conference around 25 years ago and we remained friends ever since. I was struck by his amazing persona - such charisma, and sharp social and spiritual insight.

Arike was truly a wonderful person – full of warmth, love and highly inspirational. His support and encouragement were the driving force behind the Men’s Group I subsequently set up.

Although we did not have frequent contact over the last few years, his influences and my recollections of the social meetups we used to have continued to be a source of very fond memories.

He was a wonderful human being and will be sadly missed. My condolences go out to Leah, Tara and Saul, and of course those members of his family that I had not met.

Shawn
Fenella Jeffers wrote on July 30, 2020
I heard Arike's voice again at the virtual conference on Saturday 25 July 2020. It was only the second time I had seen his face and the first time of hearing his beautiful singing voice that sent a shiver through my body. A shiver of recognition of a real and heartfelt person's expression of be-ing. I remember the first time I heard Arike's voice was at the 2017 BAATN conference which seems so long ago, and the sadness as he described in graphic detail, the violence he'd suffered as a young boy. I was struck by how, coming from such violent beginnings, he grew into a gentle, talented and generous person in his openness. This came through in the emotions of the BAATN leadership team who spoke of him. You are in my memory Arike. Thank you for being a guiding presence.
Kris Black from London wrote on July 25, 2020
Dear Arike,
It has taken me a bit of time to work out what to say - I have had many conversations with you in my head - having been in your presence for years as part of the Leadership Team, hearing about your death was hard, really hard...

It feels surreal to have attended your funeral by remote camera, listened to the pain of your passing vocalized by your beautiful children and your life partner by remote video, watched a ceremony on the beach held in honor of your life, and to mourn your passing - by video on my camera sent to me from the beach, witness to Libations poured, dancing danced, drumming drummed, songs sung, tears shed...a life lived and a life lost.

You were a Very Important Person to so many of us in BAATN...seeing you today at the BAATN Conference as a face on a Zoom screen made me sad so very sad.

The loss of you in this time of Covid and BLM feels starkly two dimensional compared to the larger than life 3D memories I have of you as a fully human being when you were alive. I hope you knew that it was, for me, an honor to have known you and worked with you and then some... I hope you knew how important you were to us all...

I will miss your grounded presence, your quiet consideration, your wisdom, your incisiveness, your humor, your honesty, and your playfulness, so many memories I am glad to be able to recall and hold close to my mind whilst they also are now tinged with the sadness of your passing...I am truly glad to have known you, to have worked with you, to have met you...to have journeyed part of the way with you...

Rest in Power Dear Arike - with Love and Peace and Honor you remain forever in my heart and the hearts and minds of all those whose lives you Truly touched.
Rest in Peace Dear Arike...Gone but you will Truly Never Be Forgotten...❤
Jason Pritchard from City of London wrote on July 23, 2020
Very sad to hear about the death of Arike. I met Arike in 2001 when I took an Arvon Foundation course in Totleigh Barton in Devon. It was a residential writing course and brought together a lovely group of people for a week to spend time together writing poetry and prose with authors Kadija Sesay and Courttia Newland as the inspiration on the course. After the course, I moved back to London and by sheer coincidence one day discovered that Arike was living not too far from me in Lewisham, He always struck me as a very generous and kind man who definitely had a real aura about him. I remember he invited me to one of his famous Soiree's in Euston / Warren St area and meeting some lovely people and having nice food whilst listening to live performance. It was a memorable and lovely evening. The last time I saw Arike was probably about five years ago by chance on an underground train and I remember approaching him to say hello and immediately his face lit up when he realised who I was. He was a warm, genuine and lovely person and sad to hear this news. Sincere condolences to his family at this difficult time. The world needs more people like Arike.
Jonathan Butler from Friog wrote on July 22, 2020
Dear Arike. You are beautiful. I love you. I miss you. Thank you.
Jonathan
Christine Stobbs from Tunbridge Wells wrote on July 15, 2020
I'm lost for words and struggling to process the loss of this wise and wonderful supervisor who was full of warmth and compassion; who brought a perspective and balance to his work that was invaluable to those of us who were privileged to benefit from it.
Arike, you had a big impact on this earth and touched many lives with your kindness and wisdom, and I like to think that continues wherever you are now. In your words..."big hugs ???????" My deepest condolences to Arike's loved ones.
Hazel Williams from London wrote on July 6, 2020
Before meeting Arike in person I remembered that he was spoken of highly by trainers on the Facets, counselling training programme I attended.
Years later when I was looking for a new supervisor, I immediately knew that I wanted to work with him. His extensive knowledge would add a specificity to my practice with Black, and African clients and supervisees.

Working with him was enlightening as he supported my growth through modelling a sense of fidelity to sit in the space of the unknown.
He imbued a quality of seasoned wisdom that was a soothing balm when I felt frustrated and wobbly, it was transformative.

I will remember his aliveness and steady presence. He will forever be eternal in my heart and in our collective memory.
Arike, an African pearl.
Gerard from Kent wrote on July 3, 2020
When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you gets fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence.
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
(For Grief John O'Donohue)
The opening words of this poem speak to me this day as Arike joins the ancestors. I remember him fondly as a supervisor. He was also a poet of the soul. To his family...my deepest sympathy.
Asante Arike. Mungu akubariki. (Thank you Arike. God bless you)
Kriss from St George, Grenada wrote on July 2, 2020
Oh Arike,
It seems like only yesterday we spent time chopping wood, cooking, laughing, joking and skipping through the field in the New Forest. How I appreciated your sharing of your struggles, your honesty, your openness...can’t quite believe you’re no longer with us to share your deep wisdom. Have not seen you in years but you often came to me when in need of wisdom or humility. Rest in power my friend and condolences to Leah and the rest of the family.
Michael Opoku-Forfieh from London wrote on July 2, 2020
The news of Arike's passing came as a heavy blow. Arike had supervised me since 2014 and was the perfect blend of psychotherapeutic clinical thought combined with a seasoned mysticism that always found its mark with my work. Arike's insight was profound and he often made me laugh, or simply left me astounded at how clearly he saw the psychological meet the spiritual within the work we were engaged with.

Arike's guidance was patient, kind, resilient, warm, supportive, humoured, and ultimately well resourced. He read a lot and stayed current with many books articles and media sources. Going to him as my supervisor was one of the best decisions I have made in my career as a counsellor/psychotherapist. He inspired me to be more.

I am sorry that I will no longer sit at his humbling presence to soak up his learning. My clients benefited from the learned support he offered. As a mentor, supervisor, friend he fitted a space that not many others have ever held and for that I feel honoured to have known him as a supervisee.

My wish is that all of his family, friends colleagues, clients, supervisees, know that he would want for us to carry his hopes for humanity forward in all that we do.

Arike be well wherever you may are now.

I am forever thankful for all the time spent together.
Camilla Sim from London wrote on July 1, 2020
I first met Arike two years ago when he came to do some training with the child counselling students at IATE (Institute for Arts in Therapy & Education). I was new in my role as course director and nervous about getting things wrong. He was so encouraging and his wisdom, compassion and humour were like medicine for the soul. He sang his song 'Another Country' and taught us the following which we sang with him:

I love myself so much
So I can love you so much
So you can love you so much
So you can keep loving me.

On behalf of all the child counselling students at IATE, thank you Arike and we're sending our condolences to your family.

And on a more personal note, he always greeted me with a big, welcoming hug and was so generous. At one of the BAATN forums, where shame overwhelmed me and I wanted to crawl away into a hole, he was there with open arms and compassion. I will really miss him.
Niki Cooper from London wrote on June 29, 2020
-
I first met Arike in the early days of the BAATN Trainer forums. He seemed to me to be a man who had made a promise to change the world, one person, at a time if necessary. He kept that promise in mountains. His perseverance and tenacity was incredible. How come he just never gave up? It must have been exhausting and dispiriting so much of the time to facilitate the same fractious and uncomfortable conversation over and over again. He had a huge heart, massive energy and a gift for humanising rather than demonising racism. He challenged robustly but with compassion. He along with Eugene helped white people like me to own their history and hurtful actions and listen properly. He really did change the world and is leaving a massive hole.

Arike, like thousands of others, will seriously miss you.
Angela wrote on June 29, 2020
-
Arike was my mentor for years and I was in total disbelief when I heard about his passing. He understood me at times when I was misunderstood by others and gave me encouragement when it was lacking in my life. I will miss his wise words and the enthusiasm for the direction my life was going in. I feel so lucky to have had such a great mentor. I will miss him a lot.
Gary Baron from London wrote on June 29, 2020
-
My Dear Soul Brother Arike,

I had only met you several times and in those meetings, what truly illuminated from within you, was your humility, compassion, kindness, understanding and your in-depth wisdom and knowledge. On reading the tributes from both your colleagues and dear friends, you have truly allowed others to stand on your shoulders.

Much blessings to your Soul's journey and much love to those you have left in this physical world.
Jill Morgan from Birmingham wrote on June 29, 2020
-
7 years ago I attended my first BAATN event, a trainers forum. During the lunch break, I sat with Arike in a cafe. I had never before heard a black man talk so openly about their emotions and experiences - a gifted storyteller. In that hour’s conversation, I learnt that my story, in all its complicated belonging-unbelongingness was valid. I felt validated and seen. I would always look forward to Arike’s presence at BAATN events. He brought a sense of soothing and grounding. I am so glad to have met him.
brenda from London wrote on June 28, 2020
-
Dear Arike, you were such a special soul. I feel so sad at your passing and will miss your presence in the world. You have left far too soon, but your spirit will always be here with us all.
Mel Adisu from Harare wrote on June 27, 2020
-
I met Arike in the 80s in London when things were heady, exciting and also polarised around peace, politics and psychotherapy. I met a person who was calm, open and caring...met him years later, 4 years ago, enjoyed the conversation we had, saw his partner, Leah, after so many years...enjoyed, promised to meet up again. I was shocked and saddened by the news of his death. My thoughts are with his family and friends. A good human being is missed.
Noida Darien-Campbell from Sheffield wrote on June 26, 2020
-
To ALL who are left behind whose lives were touched by Arike, I have read that he was a great man. Your hearts will be heavy, some for a while and others for a much longer time.

I did not know him personally, but a picture always paints a thousand words for me and Arike says to me that he was a caring and humble gentle man who's spirit remains in many people's hearts and minds.

Pin It on Pinterest

Skip to content